When my son was diagnosed with autism at age 5, I was in so much pain that I just disconnected from myself. I knew I had some anger, but what I didn’t realize was just how angry I was that my son had autism.
Then I started hanging around with some autism moms who were honest about their feelings, and I started to open up. I realized, with their help, that I was really, really angry—and also, with their help, that it was okay to feel that way.
Now I realize that it would have been bizarre if I hadn’t been angry!
Who was I so angry at? There were many targets for my anger. Doctors who didn’t identify Ben’s autism sooner, and cost us precious years when we could have been doing things differently. Friends who stopped inviting us over when Ben’s behaviors got really tough to be around. Family members who didn’t reach out to help us, support us, or even ask us how things were going.
But more than anyone else, I was angry at myself. I raged against myself. “If I were healthier, if I were a better mother, if I were more like this mother, that mother, or someone else who had it more together…” If I had done better, Ben wouldn’t have autism. Tough stuff, and very hard feelings to hold inside.
Today, I don’t need to hold painful feelings inside. I have many tools for self-care (including a community of autism moms—YOU!) that make parenting children with special needs a joyful—if constantly challenging—experience. I invite you to avail yourself of the support our Unlock Your Child Community offers you, and many moms like you.
If you identify with anything in this post, or in the video posted with it, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW! It would be a gift to hear your experience with this very sensitive subject.
With much love,
P.S. This is such a big topic that I made a video about it but then ended up writing about it too. So take your pick: read the post, watch the video, or do both. And then, please leave a comment below! I would love to hear from you.